Home -> Parent Info -> The Parent Coach -> Christmas - Enjoy or Endure? Now, if you are over 21 or had to commute to schools or work you may not describe the snow as fabulous. Likewise, being over 21 may influence whether you look forward to Christmas or dread it. If you love this time of year you may wonder why such a title - enjoy or endure? Interestingly, however, the biggest response I had in the last 12 months was in relation to Christmas and all the pressure it can bring. Expectations •Ask yourself 'what are my expectations for the time ahead?' •If your idea of heaven is a night in with x factor or a book (which will be someone else's idea of hell), you may struggle with all the activity on the run up to Christmas. 1. Accept that things 'are as they are'. If someone is missing or budget is tight (or there is no budget), that is the way it is. So, accepting that and working from there, what are your options? Stress is often rooted in wishing that things were different. 2. Given that things are as they are, what does that give you the opportunity to start doing? To stop doing? To continue doing? Family traditions can begin and end with you. 3. Focus on what you have rather than what you do not have. It could be that you have a friend you can confide in or that you have your health or that you will be there with them, no matter what the circumstances. 4. Set a budget and stick within it. Use what you have already (from decorations to clothes). 5. Talk to your children (as appropriate) about the circumstances or challenges which may be impacting. There is a difference between them being aware and worried. They will take their cue from you (your attitude, approach and actions)and and how you explain and position it. I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and your families a very happy Christmas. Home -> Parent Info -> The Parent Coach ->Christmas - Enjoy or Endure?
Christmas - Enjoy or Endure?
'Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree.'
Charlotte Carpenter
It is nearly that time of year again and all the fabulous snow last week makes it easier to get the sense that Christmas is coming.
•Financial pressure - especially in the current climate.
•Families are thrown together which can be a flamable cocktail!
•Someone is missing - either through seperation, divorce, working abroad or death during the year.
•Alcohol and the impact which abuse of it can have on other family memebers
•Social occasions - either you don't have any (which can prompt reflection) or you do and you dread them.
•Practically getting all done - buying presents, fitting everyone in or getting the Christmas dinner on the table in one piece (that is you are still sane and it is ready on time!).
If any of the above apply perhaps one or some of the following may be of help;
•What are they based on? My own experiences as a child, media or peer pressure?
•If your children are fighting like mad at the moment, are they suddenly going to morph into easy going siblings for the two week period?
•Many people have unrealistic expectations and each year are disappointed that they are not met. Change your expectations and you can change your experience.
Your own temperament
•If you are organised and structured in your day to day life, you will be orgainsed and structured in relation to the run up also. If you are not, comparing yourself to those who have all their presents bought and wrapped already is only looking for trouble! Despairing when cards arrive in the post and you have not even thought of them yet is like being annoyed at a rabbit because he cannot swim as fast as a frog.
•Look to Christmas past and reflect on what worked for you and what did not?
•Know your own natural style and work to achieve what you want in a way that will go with your flow rather than beat yourself for not having someone else's style.
Five Stategies that might help;
'A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.'
Garrison Keillor American author
Thank you for taking the time to read these articles during the year and for making parenting a priority. Your children will reap the benefits of the time and focus you give to being a parent, for years to come!